Payment
by jjscm01
Summary: More Lindsey angst with a bit of Lindsey/Darla and Lindsey/Lilah.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Set partly during the episodes "Redefinition" and "Epiphany".

...

Lindsey kicked open the door to his apartment and carried Darla through, laying her down on his couch. Drusilla was close behind him, still wailing about Angel. Dru had called Lindsey, on the cell phone that Holland had given her. From her ramblings, Lindsey had managed to ascertain her location and that Angel had done something terrible to them. Darla now looked as weak and helpless as she had when she was human and dying of syphilis.

"Darla?" Lindsey cradled her head tenderly. "It's alright. I'm here."

"Lindsey?" She reached out to stroke his face.

"You'll be alright," he promised her. "You're safe here. No one knows you're here."

"Need to feed," Darla whispered.

Lindsey held out his good arm, his wrist exposed. "Here."

Darla took hold of his wrist, eyeing Lindsey as if expecting some sort of trick.

"Drink," he instructed. Darla hesitated, then her face changed and she sunk her teeth into his flesh. Lindsey winced as she drank hungrily, his body growing woozy as her strength increased. For a moment he thought that she wasn't going to stop, that she was going to drain him dry, but she clearly knew he was more useful to her alive. She let go as he slumped back on the floor. She unbuttoned his shirt with superhuman speed and wrapped it around his bleeding wrist, applying pressure until the feeling that he was about to faint passed.

"Thank you," he said hoarsely.

She hesitated. "Dru needs to feed, too."

Lindsey looked at Drusilla, who was curled up in the corner of his apartment, singing to herself. He knew where Wolfram and Hart kept a supply of cold human blood, for client meetings. He didn't know where the blood came from, and he didn't want to know.

"I'll go get her some blood."

...

_Lindsey was sitting in the corner, playing on his daddy's guitar, when the knock on the door came. His mother, who looked especially tired that morning and was wearing more makeup than usual to hide it, smoothed down her clothes before answering._

_"Mrs McDonald?" A strong Texan accent came from behind the door._

_"Yes." His mama stood back to let the man in. He was big and burly, not like Lindsey's father, who was small and slight._

_"I'm here to collect your husband's debt," the man drawled as he stepped over the threshold. Lindsey had stopped twanging at the guitar strings and was sitting silently, watching the strange man stroll in._

_"I know. I've been expecting you." His mother's voice was quiet._

_"Where is Mr McDonald? Out runnin' up some more bills?" The man sounded cruelly amused. He stopped dead when he saw Lindsey hunched in the corner._

_"What's the kid doin' here?" he demanded._

_"He's sick," his mother explained. "He's too sick to go to school today."_

_The man walked over and reached out as if to tousle Lindsey's hair. "Cute kid, ain't he?"_

_"Don't touch him!" his mother snapped. The man stopped, his hand inches from Lindsey's head, an eyebrow raised menacingly._

_"He's contagious," his mama explained quickly. "Lindsey, I need you to go to your room and be quiet, okay? I just need to talk to this man."_

_Lindsey nodded and got to his feet. He walked barefoot across the cold floor, into the bedroom he shared with the other five. "That's it," his mother said in her soothing twang as she went to shut the bedroom door. "Stay in there and don't come out till I come get you, okay?"_

_Lindsey nodded and went to lie down on his mattress on the floor. His fever was making him shiver. The door closed behind his mother. He could hear the low murmur of voices, the sound of footsteps and then creaking sounds coming from the next room. He lay very still and waited for his mama to come and get him._

...

"Where did you get this?" Lindsey picked up the ring that Darla could only have got from Angel.

"It was my payment," said Darla dully.

"Payment?" Lindsey repeated. A cold feeling had settled around his heart. "What are you talking about?"

"What do you _think_ I'm talking about, Lindsey?" Darla's voice was almost mocking.

"I don't know!" Lindsey's voice rose. "What happened?"

"You want details, Lindsey? Is that what you want?" She was still mocking him.

"Yes. I need to know everything. All of it." Lindsey's voice was now a low growl. "What did he do to you?"

"The same as all the others." Darla looked away. "I'm a whore, Lindsey. You knew that."

He stared at her. "I thought we—"

"What did you think, Lindsey? That we had something special?" Darla almost sounded angry now. "I'm a vampire, remember? I don't have human feelings. You were the one who had me turned back."

"I saved you." His voice was hoarse.

"I didn't want to be saved," she enunciated.

He sat on the other end of the couch to her, as far away from her as possible. He wondered why she didn't just kill him, now she no longer had any use for him. Part of him wished she would.

He stood up and tore off his jacket, throwing it down along with his keys. He took one last look at Darla before heading into his bedroom. She didn't try to stop him.

He pulled open the closet, where some of Darla's clothes were hanging next to his. He rifled through his wardrobe, ignoring his father's guitar sitting below the clothes. He found the boots he was looking for and ripped off his tie as he slammed the closet door shut.

It was time for some payback.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Set between the episodes "Epiphany" and "Dead End".

...

Lindsey comes in to work the day after the beating from Angel. He has a new plastic hand to replace the one Angel smashed. He gets more curious looks than usual due to the bruises, but he doesn't care. Darla is gone and he may as well be dead for all he cares. Perhaps he soon will be.

He sees Lilah as soon as he enters the boardroom. The cut on her lip from where he punched her is still visible, although she's covered it with makeup. He feels a twinge of guilt and considers apologising, but he knows it wouldn't be appreciated. Instead he nods at her as he takes the seat opposite her. She doesn't comment on his bruises, ignoring him completely until the daily briefing is over.

After Nathan's speech, the lawyers shuffle out and Lindsey and Lilah find themselves alone together, heading for their shared client meeting. The client looks startled at Lindsey's appearance but doesn't say anything. However, he gestures to Lilah's lip and says, "You hurt yourself?"

"You should see the other guy," she replies as she sweeps into the meeting room. Lindsey feels the pang of guilt again and decides then and there to make it up to her somehow if he can.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Set during season four, prior to the events of "Apocalypse, Nowish".

...

"Workin' late?"

The familiar southern accent greeted Lilah as soon as she had closed the door to her office. She groaned and turned around. "You've gotta be kidding me."

Lindsey was sitting in her chair, legs up on her desk, as if he still had every right to be there.

"How's it goin'?" He smiled at her. He looked different from when he had left the firm. His hair had grown out again and he was wearing jeans and a leather jacket, not the suits he used to wear for work.

"I always knew you had a death wish, but this is ridiculous." She stared at him. "You know the senior partners will already know you're here?"

"Nah. I took care of that." He swung his legs down from the desk. "There are ways of making yourself invisible to them."

She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of asking how he had done that. Instead she said, "You know this room is bugged."

"I swept the place before you got here." He stood up and walked over to where Lilah kept her whisky decanter. "I know all the usual hiding places. I'm glad you got my old room, by the way." He poured himself a drink, gesturing to see if she wanted one. She shook her head.

"How's the hand?" she asked sardonically.

He flexed the hand the firm had given him. "Good as new."

"Glad to hear it. That was quite an exit you pulled."

"I did stop you from shooting yourself," he pointed out.

"And you got to feel me up, so we're even."

He shrugged. "Hey, I didn't come here for your help."

"Then why are you here?"

"Needed a file." He held up a small USB stick. "Been doin' some research on the senior partners. Last piece I needed was right here."

"And you expect me to just let you walk out of here with it?"

"No. I expect you to call security and have me thrown into one of the firm's interdimensional holding cells." He sipped his drink. "Well, they can try anyway. I've been training for a while, I think I can take 'em." He drained the contents of the glass and put it down on Lilah's desk. "So, go ahead."

She weighed up her options, then threw open her office door.

"Get out," she said abruptly. "Before I change my mind. And no more favours, okay?"

He looked at her as if suspecting a trick. She turned her head away, refusing to look at him, then he took her by the shoulders and lightly planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Bye, Lilah."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Back to season two. Set during the episode "Reprise", Darla's POV.

...

He always showers as soon he gets home from work. He spends a long time getting clean, which suits her fine, as it gives her a chance to go through his briefcase. She can hear the water running as she flips through his papers, sipping blood. As soon as the water stops she puts the papers away and lies back down, trying to look helpless.

Lindsey comes out of his bedroom, now wearing jeans and a casual shirt. His hair is still wet from the shower.

"You want anything?" he calls from the kitchen.

"No, thanks." She's satiated from the cold blood he gave her. He hasn't let her feed off his warm blood since that one time when he first brought her home.

Lindsey emerges from the kitchen with a bowl of pasta and sits opposite her. "You feelin' okay?"

"I'm fine," she says bravely. As annoying as his constant concern is, it's better that he doesn't know how much better she is.

She lies on the couch with her eyes closed, ignoring Lindsey inhaling his pasta. Lindsey always eats like he's been starved, which from what she knows about his childhood he probably has. She idly wonders what he would be like as a vampire. Not that she would ever turn him, she doesn't need him following her around making puppy dog eyes at her for all eternity, but it's amusing to imagine.

She doesn't despise him as much as she should. He's human and weak, but she still has the memories of the second time she was human, and how Lindsey was the only one, besides Angel, who didn't use her then. He's useful to her, and easy on the eye, and she likes the fact that he doesn't fear her, even though he knows he should. But as soon as this is all over, once she's got what she needs from him, she'll kill him.

All in good time.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Set between seasons two and three.

...

The door to his apartment was open. The lock had been smashed. Lindsey reached into his jacket pocket for the gun he always carried now and hesitated. As he stood in the doorway, he heard a low humming in familiar tones coming from inside. Pushing the door slowly, he entered the apartment and found he wasn't all that surprised to see Darla sitting on his couch, her eyes closed, in a long red dress. It was as if he'd been expecting her.

"Darla."

She smiled as she opened her eyes and turned to greet him. "Hello, Lindsey," she purred.

He had many questions, but the first one he blurted out was, "How did you get in?"

"You invited me." She stood up and walked over, swaying her hips seductively. "You said that wherever you were, I'd always be welcome..."

He closed his eyes, rueing his own stupidity. "How'd you find me?" He knew that vampires had enhanced senses, but he doubted that she could have followed his scent all this way.

She smiled and lowered her eyes coyly. "I put a tracking device on your guitar before I left. I knew you wouldn't go anywhere without it, even though you couldn't play anymore..."

"Well, I'm glad the undead have finally embraced twenty-first century technology." Lindsey looked around to check that Drusilla wasn't there too. "Listen, if you're here to kill me, there's a long line ahead of ya."

Darla smiled and reached out to touch his face.

"Why would I want to kill you? My sweet boy."

Lindsey let her caress his cheek, but his eyes were devoid of emotion. Seeing she wasn't getting the reaction she wanted, Darla withdrew her hand.

"I need your help."

"I've heard that before, Darla. It didn't end well for me."

"It didn't end too badly." Her hand slid down to his wrist. "I see you got your hand back."

"It ain't mine." He shrugged. "And I didn't get out of the firm so I could go back to being your whipping boy."

"I need your help because of this." She lifted the loose dress she was wearing abruptly. His eyes widened at the sight of her belly.

"That's impossible."

"I know it's impossible, but it's happened."

"How?" Lindsey said stupidly. "Was it— when you were human?"

"Not when I was human, no."

Lindsey's eyes darkened as he put two and two together. "Angel. That night you—"

"Looks like I got a little more payment than I bargained for." She dropped the skirt, looking away.

"Two vampires can't have a baby."

"I know that." Darla looked like she was losing patience. "That's why it has to be something mystical."

"So what does that have to do with me?"

"Wolfram and Hart would know what's going on. But I can't go to them, they'd strap me down and experiment on me and whatever demon spawn I'm carrying. But you must still have contacts."

"Why not go to him? Angel?"

"He wouldn't help me." She shook her head, suddenly looking vulnerable. "The last time I saw him, he threatened to kill me."

"I'm kinda living the quiet life now, Darla." He resented her assumption that he would be willing to help her, even though he knew deep down that he always would.

"If you help me, I can help you." She reached up to run her fingers through his hair, which was growing out again.

"How?"

"You want to hide from Wolfram and Hart. I'm good at hiding from vampire hunters." She smiled again. "Take me to a see-er, and I'll show you how to hide properly. You'll be able to walk right into your old offices and they won't know about it..."

"Why would I trust you?"

"Because I could have killed you three times over by now, and I haven't."

He looked at the woman that he still loved despite everything. Part of him just wanted to take her in his arms and promise to take care of her and her baby.

He kept his voice low and harsh. "It's a deal."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Set after "Lullaby".  
...

Lindsey's body is wracked with sobs. He leans against the wall of his apartment, clutching at it for support, hating the normality of his surroundings. His eyes fall on his guitar, sitting in the corner, and with a sudden rage he seizes it and smashes it against the wall. He stamps on it until it shatters into pieces, wishing he could go back in time, wishing he had a plastic hand again, if only he could see her once more.

He won't play or sing again. Right now it's enough of an effort to breathe.

News of Darla's death had rippled out from Wolfram and Hart to Lindsey's few remaining connections. They say she staked herself, while giving birth to her son. Angel's son. Angel may as well have driven the stake through her heart himself.

_Life's too short. I should know. 400 years and still too short._

He sinks down against the wall and looks at the broken pieces of his most prized possession, all thoughts of building a normal life away from the firm forgotten. There's only one thing he wants now, and that's revenge. Even if it kills him. Especially if it kills him.

Angel will pay for this.


End file.
